For many years, I had been keeping a secret. Most already knew this secret and some did not. But on the 6th April 2018 I accomplished one of the biggest milestones in my life. After floods of tears, writing out possibilities and contemplating the outcome to this inevitable situation, I finally mustered the courage to come out to my dad as gay. I cannot put into words just how heavy this weight has been on my shoulders and now it has been lifted.
I went to see a movie that same day called Love, Simon and I have never seen a movie that I relate to as much as this one. I was literally in tears in the movie theatre. For anyone who hasn’t seen it I strongly recommend you do so. It is a gay coming out story of Simon, a small town boy in the USA on the hunt to find out who his discreet pen pal lover is. Eventually he is blackmailed by a classmate with the prospect of his sexuality being exposed to his entire school. I left the movie theatre and I had this courage all of a sudden to come out, total cliche I know.
I arrived home and I was going to tell my dad that night, or I’d never do it. I sat on my bed and I wrote out a letter because I was scared. My dad came in the room and asked me what I was doing. He saw I was crying and sat on the bed and asked me what was wrong. I said to him “I’m writing a letter to you”. He replied “Don’t be silly just tell me”. So I took a deep breath and I just did it. “I’m gay” I said. I cried my eyes out as he replied “It’s okay Harry, I love you no matter what”.
My dad was the very last person who I told and was also the hardest person to tell. I was so anxious at the prospect of being disowned. Although subconsciously I knew that my dad would love me no matter what, there was always a shred of doubt in my brain as to how he’d react. It has been one of my biggest fears and now I feel like nothing can stop me from being myself. I feel so blessed to have a parent that loves me for who I am and supports me no matter who I decide to date/love.
For as long as I can remember, there has been homophobia in my house. Whether it was a derogative comment from my dad or the awkward changing of the channel when there was a gay kiss on TV, I was always taught that being gay was unnatural and wrong. So, as you can imagine, when I was 12 and I started to like boys I was very ashamed of myself. I felt like I needed to teach myself to like girls and told myself that these feelings were just a phase. Even at school the kids would tease me because I looked a little feminine and so I didn’t make much effort to mix with the other boys. I knew that I was different to them and liked different things. From all angles, people were hammering the idea that homosexuality was wrong into my brain.
I believe that it is extremely important to teach kids like I once was that they are perfect just the way they are. If they act feminine or they like boys instead of girls, that’s okay! Love knows no gender. If I had these kind of people around me when I was younger then I would have accepted myself much sooner and the journey to self discovery would have been a lot more pleasant than the reality.
I posted a status on Facebook as I was so happy and here are some of the amazing comments I received. Hopefully this will inspire or give someone else a little courage and wisdom to consider coming out of the closet. Honestly you won’t regret it!
Yayyyyyyy you did it. You superstar.
Glad to hear
Well done mate
Yay this is amazing x x
Glad to hear you have an awesome dad xx
And exhaleeeeee! Congratulations!
So proud of you Harry
Well done Harry always be proud of who you are xxxx
Yay so proud of you Harry!
parents will love you whoever you are be proud
Congratulations Harry!!!! So proud of u!xxxx
❤️ great news! ❤️ xxx
That’s amazing Harry, so happy for you
I’m so proud of you Harry
Well done Harry
Aww so happy to hear this! He probably was glad you had the courage to tell him and he’ll always love you no matter what , now you can geCt that rainbow flag out you’ve been hiding in the closet xx
Well done mate
Well done Harry – you are who you are and your dad loves you unconditionally. Very proud that you had the courage to honour yourself and embrace your true self. Love always xx
Lots of love to you and your authentic life ahead dear Harry xxx😘
Friday, 20th April 2018