Hottest April in 70 years

As temperatures in the UK soar to a scorching 28 degrees Celsius, beaches and parks have never been so busy. I think its very funny that when we get a little bit of nice weather here, London feels the urge to strip naked, walk their pit bulls and show off their wrinkled hairy Millwall tattoos. “Ain’t it ‘ot Dave?” I heard as I wandered down the high street to the gym. Across the street I see old ladies in flower maxi dresses with their bra strap showing and sweat running down their faces. “Welcome to London…” I jeeringly mutter to myself.

Supermarkets across the UK are panic stocking their shelves with outdoor food and drinks as the nation prepares for picnics, BBQs and garden parties. A spokeswoman for Waitrose stated to the Evening Standard yesterday: “This week we expect burgers to be a top seller and have increased our orders of barbecue food by 140 per cent versus last week. Salads are also expected to see an increase of 15 per cent.”

I hope you are all enjoying the weather guys! Make sure you wear lots of sun cream if you are as white and sensitive as me. Make the most of it while you can as I doubt this weather will last more than a few days.

PS: I will try to post a lot more from here on out so watch this space!

Thursday, 19th April 2018

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